After the 12:15 expanding class I walked outside and felt the all-of-a-suddenly cold air grip ahold of me— the sudden remembrance of the seasonal dance… doing its thing, doing what it does, cycling around, summer to fall to winter to spring… and here we are… cycling around, as all things seemingly do…
In Tucson we all yearn so eagerly for the cool air that winter brings, and then when the time comes everyone complains that it’s cold… hahaha… so it goes…
Change is what’s always already happening, and yet here we are… experiencing it…
Do you resist the change? or do you roll with it?
Great teachers declare, “If you resist what is, you suffer.”
Mr. Lee Lozowick said, “Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.”
In other words, as Christina Sell once said, “Don’t freak out about your freak out.”
Pema Chodran advises us to “Lean into it.”
And yet… here i am… suffering a bit.. feeling resistance to what is. The current is carrying me to other adventures…not better or worse, just different. Different is unknown and therefore Ms. Mind labels it as uncomfortable, something to be avoided at all costs.
But I know myself better than that.
All great things in my life have arisen out of facing such discomfort, and as one of my first great teachers, Ms. Ulla Lundgren said, “feel(ing) the fear and do(ing) it anyway.”
Off to Never Never Land…
Or Phoenix, as it were… Starting January 2nd I begin acupuncture school, and play with turning things a little upside down and seeing who I am in that circumstance… just like yoga. And so we see it’s all practice. And it’s all a metaphor. We practice and practice, for what? For more practice. For what? So we can practice some more in a different situation. Ms. Manorama D’Alvia said, “Your life is for figuring out your life… No one is going to do it for you.”
At this stage of the game I find myself looking for any reason not to go, I found myself just last night on the UofA website exploring different options I could pursue here in Tucson and therefore justify my staying. Breathe…Breathing… Each class has become such a magical, meaningful, rich experience. Each student I touch, each gaze I meet, I feel its significance because I see the end. … And each end is the beginning of something new… Mr. Douglas Brooks taught to focus on what you are moving towards, rather than to focus on what you’re moving away from. It’s a beautiful life teaching. I learned that in skiing so long ago! Haha. Look in the direction you want to go, rather than the tree you’re aiming to avoid! Sigh… This isn’t the end. I’ve set up with YogaOasis to teach TUESDAYS: 11am Yogahour, 1215 Expanding, and 415 Yogahour, as well as a workshop every month. I’ll be available on social media, checking in and sharing upcoming classes, workshops and retreats elsewhere as well.
My heart hurts, but I practice having faith that it’s for the best. I love you. Thank you for being a part of my path, for sharing this journey with me. Please stay with me as we continue on down the road. Love and Gratitude.